World Mental Health Day
Yesterday on World Mental Health Day I posted about the manager that ignored me and didn't create a psychologically safe workplace for me.
I shared how even as I mustered the courage to complain and go to her direct supervisor about her behaviour, she waltzed into my meeting barring my communication about my experience.
So I "quiet quit" I guess.
I worked on my exit strategy since she had no assignments for me.
I found a role in another organization and although it was another contract and not a permanent opportunity, I was glad to go.
Well what I didn't share was that the new employer required a reference from my current employer and it had to be from the person I directly reported to.
There was no way around it.
I asked the #HR rep if any one else could vouch for me... I had three other references. But, no.
I had to go to the woman who was functionally harassing me by her hostile behavior and get her to say something nice about me that would give me the next opportunity to get away from her.
This furthered my anguish.
I had to pick just the right time to tell this woman, who became so hateful toward me, that I managed to get out from under her (she could no longer oppress me and impact my mental health) and that I needed something from her... evaluate her moods, when would be the right time? 🤷🏾♀️
I waited a few days, HR had called the others I provided. But they were still waiting for this one.
I finally told her in a scheduled one on one that I found something, another contract, and asked her to be a reference.
She feigned happiness for me (she was probably just glad she didn't have to make me permanent with her) and agreed.
Still I was sick with worry about what she'd say about me for days. Whenever her door would close and she'd be on the phone I began praying.
Still with no work assignments, nothing to do but pray.
Pray she would somehow find something positive to say about me and not ruin this opportunity for me.
I desperately needed the income as the sole supporter for my family at the time.
My family's wellbeing hinged on the words of this one woman.
And I was stressed beyond belief for the next week waiting to see if an offer would come.
So the lesson in today's post is for HR. Stop this horrible practice of getting a reference from a person's current supervisor!
You put people who are in unsafe spaces at further risk of harm.
About Janelle Benjamin: Janelle Benjamin, B.A., J.D., is the Founder & Chief Equity Officer of All Things Equitable Inc. helping employers make workplaces more diverse, inclusive, and safe for equity-seeking groups. Learn more about Janelle and how she can help you!
